


My Dad's The Grand Highblood!

by merrakkii



Series: You Cannot Choose Your Family [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humor, Multi, loads of wigglers, the grand highblood is a drama queen, they all send them to a daycare centre
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-10-19 07:58:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10635612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merrakkii/pseuds/merrakkii
Summary: The Grand Highblood lives in an apartment Hive with his neighbour across the hall, Orphaner Dualscar. Within the Highblood's company are two, young wigglers by the name of Kurloz and Gamzee. Somehow The Grand Highblood had agreed to take in the young Trolls from the gentle hands of the Dolorosa after wigglers were being taken in by almost every adult Troll on their planet. Such a task as being a "father" could not possibly be too much trouble; or, at least, that was what the Grand Highblood used to think...





	1. Prologue: A Short Introduction To Adulthood

**Author's Note:**

> This particular idea occurred during a conversation I had with my sister. Sure enough, we created a scenario where the planets Beforus and Alternia were one, and each Ancestor Troll actually raised their descendants (alphas and betas) in semi-coexistence. The game Sburb does not exist and the plot of the story will focus around the Grand Highblood and how he copes with maintaining his new role as a father, as well as his keeping his high title within the Hemospectrum.

     “Trolls are not supposed to be parents!” The Grand Highblood furrowed his brows and lifted his chin, locks of dark hair falling over his face as his features twisted into an expression of annoyance and disgust. Angling his head back down, he glared towards the small wigglers curled up with each other, happily sleeping within an empty pie tin atop the Highblood’s kitchen counter. “What even _is_ a parent?!”

     Naturally the wigglers gave no response other than a soft _squeak_ while they slept. The smaller of the two rolled onto his side and breathed a soft _honk_ , which could perhaps be perceived as a small _hink_ , instead. Nonetheless, it gave the Grand Highblood no _real_ grasp on a reply he could be happy with. Alas, he was _never_ happy. He thought he was _once_ , but the feeling was soon cast aside when his trusted lawyer, Neophyte Redglare, had pointed out that he had simply been too full from a large dinner and the feeling could perhaps be best described as 'stuffed' rather than happy.

     “Whatever!” The Grand Highblood had exclaimed, arms flinging themselves upward from under the table and above his head with an exaggerated amount of drama to his posture. The ruckus had caused enough motion to the table to cause a glass of wine to spill over and pool onto another Troll, Marquise Spinneret Mindfang’s lap, across from where the Grand HIghblood sat. In turn, this had caused Mindfang to hiss, stand from her chair and practically push her partner, Orphaner Dualscar, out of his own seat as a result of her fury.  

     Redglare had motioned for the Grand Highblood to remain seated and _quiet_  as their little dinner plans went to ruin and Mindfang spewed a hateful ounce of words at Dualscar, causing a scene which would later lead to the end of their Matespriteship and a newfound formation of Kismesis would be put in its place. Neither Redglare nor the Grand Highblood had been particularly surprised at such a turn in the pair’s Quadrants. It was a crumbling relationship since their early years of Troll-schooling, or ‘High School’, as some preferred to call it for multi-culture reasons. However, it was quite the shock to see Mindfang finally call it off simply because the Grand Highblood was incapable of accepting basic facts without throwing a fit.

     This had been one day before the Dolorosa had granted the adult Trolls a life of adulthood. She had intended to grant the rest of her fellow Trollsmen with the responsibilities and rewarding attributes she had received during her nurturing years raising the Signless. Little had the Grand Highblood known, he would never even come close to experiencing the feeling of happiness than he had done the day Mindfang broke up with Dulascar; even when the feeling had not even related to happiness, but rather the feeling of being well-fed.

     “Hey, Highblood—“ Dualscar called, a casual stroll weighing his footsteps as he ducked into the Grand Highblood’s apartment Hive, thus stopping the Grand Highblood from talking to the sleeping wigglers. Realising his mistake, Dualscar stopped short and bit his tongue, mentally preparing himself for the lecture he would receive if he had not acted quickly to cover up his dreadful mistake. “Aha, I mean _Grand_ Highblood,” he smiled, all sharp teeth and casual stride once more. “Are you ready t’go?”

     “What?!” The Grand Highblood spat. He turned his head sharply, sending long strands of his hair to whirl in his wake and swat harshly at the small pie tin his wigglers were sleeping in. The Grand Highblood seemed oblivious to the abusive swatting of his hair and he stood straight, large frame towering over Dualscar. “What? Where are we going?!” His booming voice rumbled through the room, highly capable of rattling the ornaments stacked along the shelves. “Dualscar, what is the meaning of this?!”

     Dualscar, highly adapted to his neighbour’s characteristics and booming voice, merely rolled a shoulder and readjusted the small wigglers resting in a slung around his chest. “Rosa’s Daycare, remember? Do we really hafta go over this every day?” With a long sigh, Dualscar stepped through the messy apartment and ducked under the Grand Highblood’s arm. “You haven’t even got Gamzee and Kurloz ready yet.”

     The Grand Highblood blinked. His head tipped back in thought before he turned on his companion, a frown crossing his large face. “Ah, yes! Well…” Murky purple eyes narrowed and the Highblood growled lowly, mumbling something about how Dualscar could remember the name of the wigglers when he could not. “I suggest we head over there at full speed!” He exclaimed, scooping up Kurloz and Gamzee from the pie tin with a quick motion.

     “Have they even been fed?” Dualscar scoffed, once again readjusting his own wigglers against his chest. Small _squeaks_ and shuffles were rewarded in response within the sling, a positive remark compared to the Grand Highblood's wigglers' pleas and _honks_. “Didn’t ya hear what Rosa was sayin’ during those little get-togethers? She was teachin’ us how to care for the next generation.”

     “Oh, _please_ , Dualscar!” The Grand Highblood scoffed. He carelessly tossed Kurloz and Gamzee over his shoulder, perhaps forever losing them amid his long, tangled hair. not that he would care. He had no care for anything! “Are you a human-mother or a Troll? Grow a pair of horns and forget your emotions! That’s what I always say!” He exclaimed as he strode out of his apartment, thus leaving Dualscar to consider how much such a _saying_  could truly relate to the Highblood with the largest set of horns among the Trolls alive today and the least focused grip on what emotions actually _were_.

     He would choose not to consider this further and step out of the apartment, follow his companion, and try to engage with the other newly-made parents among his neighbourhood. 


	2. Chapter One: Careless Parent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I intend to introduce the other Trolls casually with minor parts to the Grand Highblood's amusing lifestyle and bad choices throughout the chapters. I also enjoy granting the Ancestors with other names, rather than taking the Dancestors names. This will be later introduced as the story is updated. For now, please enjoy the Dolorosa's entrance to the series!

     “I’m very angry about this system! How dare my children play with Lowbloods so casually!” The Grand Highblood boasted, heavily resisting the urge to fling his arms above his head. The Dolorosa was standing too close and would surely have been whacked in the face otherwise. “How dare you create this ridiculous system!”

     Rosa smiled and stepped back, arm raising to motion towards the wigglers playing among each other upon the floor of her Hive; otherwise known as the only Daycare for wigglers on Beforus. “Tell me, Fenrir—“

     “ _Grand Highblood_ ,”

     Rosa flinched inwardly, refusing to allow her calm and collected expression from falling. “Yes, of course. _Grand Highblood_ , tell me, can you even identify which of these wigglers are your own?” She smiled, watching the little creatures commune with each other in their delightful _squeaks_ and _hisses_. “I hear that you have certain… _difficulties_ when trying to achieve your parent-role.”

     “Oh, please! I know which ones are mine!” The Grand Highblood scoffed. He took a step forward, large foot thundering down with such strength, most of the wigglers bounced into the air and scuttled away. “Come back here!” He growled, snatching the nearest wiggler. He clutched the tiny creature in his palm and turned back to Rosa, arm extended with a wide grin. “Ha! See, this one is mine!”

     Rosa shook her head. “Hardly,” she sighed, hands reaching out to take the crying wiggler from the Grand Highblood’s large fist. “This one here is Ruth’s child. Tavros, to be exact.” She hummed, cradling Tavros close to her chest. “Honestly, I would have high reasons to suspect you might be colour blind, Fen—I mean, _Grand Highblood_.”

     The Grand Highblood turned up his nose, disgusted with the comforting scene Rosa was acting out with Tavros. “This conversation is pointless! Your face is pointless!” He jabbed a finger through the air, practically flicking Tavros’ small cheek. “Where’s Dualscar? I want to go home!”

     Rosa cleared her throat to hold back her ounce of temper and knelt down, returning Tavros to the floor where he scuttled off after his grub-brother, Rufioh. “Dualscar dropped Cronus and Eridan off before returning to his own business. You could easily do the same. I understand that you have a reputation to keep up and not every Troll is capable of parenthood in the first few sweeps—“

     “I am a great father!” The Grand Highblood countered, long hair falling over his shoulders dramatically as he straightened up and dropped his large hands upon his equally large hips. “This is why I am willing to fight for the separation of wigglers as they play! Highbloods shall only play with Highbloods! Likewise, for the Lowbloods…!”

     Rosa’s collected mask cracked finally. The corner of her eye twitched for a fraction of a second and she paused, holding her breath until she was able to speak without causing herself to glow a bright white and attempt to drink the horrible Highblood dry. She was a professional carer and would remain as such in front of her dearest wigglers. “That is not going to happen. I can assure you that such an idea would backfire as soon as you attempt to put it into play.”

     “Yeah, right!” The Grand Highblood scoffed, already having begun to pull and pry wigglers from each other. This caused an echoing sound of terrified cries and sobbing, followed by the sounds of horrifying screeches. “Oh, be quiet! You will thank me one day!” Exclaimed the Grand HIghblood, tugging two wrigglers, Vriska and Kanaya, apart. The former hissed loudly and bit the Grand Highblood’s finger. 

     Rosa gasped as the Grand Highblood flinched. He flung his arm out in response to the attack and Kanaya went flying. “Kanaya!” Rosa shrieked, carefully stepping around the crowd of crying wigglers as she held her arms out and caught her daughter. “Please don’t cry! No, no, no. Mama’s here, hush…” Whispering softly, Rosa bounced the petrified Kanaya in her arms before turning on the Grand Highblood; finally releasing her filter on the glowing intensity of her Rainbow Drinker skin. “Get out.”

     The Grand Highblood had dropped Vriska by now. He was clutching the petty teeth marks against his finger and frowned, wobbly standing up to prepare himself for fleeing as Rosa stepped closer. “Now, now! We can talk about this professionally! I am, after all, the Grand Highblood. You may be a rare blood, Dolorosa, but I still outrank you— woah!” Gasping, the Grand Highblood stood on one of the wigglers crawling around and he fell over, thankfully missing the other small creatures on the way down.

     “Oh, Tavros!” Rosa knelt down, releasing Kanaya in order to scoop up the half-squashed Tavros crying on the floor. “Look what he’s done to you… Oh, how will I explain this to Ruth…”

     “Are you sure he’s not my son? He seems to hang around me enough—“ the Grand Highblood commented. He swallowed his tongue when Rosa looked up, eyes glowing yellow and fangs extending as she hissed low and hard. “Fine! Alright! I’m going!” Growling, the Grand Highblood got to his feet and stomped out of the Hive, carelessly forgetting the height difference to Rosa’s doorframe compared to his own.

     Rosa would deal with the Grand-Highblood-shaped-hole in her door later _after_ she had warned her fellow Trollsmen to keep their wigglers away from the Highblood.

     Later that same evening, The Grand Highblood would discover he had not even cared to drop Kurloz or Gamzee off at Rosa’s Hive at all. He would be woken late by the soft sounds of _honks_ and _hinks_ coming from the deep, darkness of his hair.                


	3. Chapter Two: Highbloods Have No Responsibilities

     "I expect you to pay close attention to me when you come over,  _Redglare!_ " The Grand Highblood snapped, long hair whirling over his shoulder in his usually granted trademark of exaggeration. His large hands fell on his wide hips and he growled, eyes narrowing towards the smaller Troll -who appeared to be far more interested in the small wigglers ' _honking_ ' and _'hinking'_  around the small apartment- and he inhaled, chest expanding; "You are  _my_  lawyer!"

     "Yeah, I am," Redglare sighed, raspy voice falling past her thin, black-painted lips. She rocked herself backwards onto her heels, after being formally crouched in a kneeling position to tend to Kurloz and Gamzee as they scuttled across the floor, and extended her hand to retrieve her dragon cane from its supportive position on the coffee table in the confined space, "and sadly, as your Lawyer, I am responsible for surveying your house and the potential dangers you might be putting your, uhh... children, yeah, your  _children_  in."

     "What do you mean?" The Grand Highblood scoffed. "This place is perfectly suitable for my children!"

     As if on cue, the apartment door opened, crushing Gamzee -who had been obliviously moving out of Redglare and the Highblood's sight- against the hard surface of the door's wood; earning a rather distressed  _'HONK'_  and a faint crunching sound. Dualscar stepped inside, carrying his own young wigglers under his arms.

     "The heck was that?" Grunting, Dualscar kicked the door shut behind him, put Crous and Eridan down to the floor, and unceremoniously dropped himself down upon the large couch in the living room, hardly aware of the young Gamzee wedged into the surface of the door with his large horns embedded into the wood he had been crushed with. "What are we up to today?" 

     Redglare's brows raised, visible now above her red-tinted glasses. Her strides were long as she hurried over to collect Gamzee and pry him out of the door. The struggle was nothing but real and Redglare stumbled backwards, the bottoms of her shoes stomping greatly as she tried to retain her posture after yanking Gamzee free.

     Dualscar scoffed, idly stretching a foot out to nudge the small Eridan out of the way before his small head could be squashed by Redglare’s foot. “Geez, watch it…” Dualscar grumbled and sank back into the comforting surface of the couch. “Hey, _Grand_ Highblood, you wanna go out and mess with some lowbloods?”

     “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that…” Redglare muttered and carried Gamzee into the open kitchen to feed him some slime pie for the shock of being one with the front door.

     The Grand Highblood’s bottom lip had curled up over his top lip, thus displaying a large pout of mild distress. “I…” his wide eyes flickered over to Redglare and then back to Dualscar, “I…have to stay here.”

     “What?!” Dualscar grit his sharp teeth together and turned his head, catching the familiar glimpse of Redglare’s blue and red outfit from the kitchen. “Seriously? You’re concerned about what your lawyer thinks? Y’know she’s always gonna bail you out no matter how many lowbloods might get caught up in our little schemes! Please? Mindfang ain’t using the ship lately, so we can go for a cruise and use the ol’ cannon to cause some ‘post-traumatic-stress’ disorders. Ayy? How's that sound?”

     The Grand Highblood made a low noise in the back of his throat as if he was considering Dualscar’s proposal with immense thought. Wide eyes flickered back towards the kitchen; Redglare’s back was facing towards the living room. They could leave. She would never know…

     “Fine! Let’s go!” Flinching at his own attempts at a low _whisper_ , The Grand Highblood scurried forward and clutched a large fist around Dualscar’s cape. He dragged the seadweller off of the couch and straight over to the door before Redglare could call out for them to stay.

     When Redglare did turn around to face the scene –which was almost immediately after The Grand Highblood had yelled _‘let’s go!’-_  she was rewarded with a dramatic scurry and watched the amount of clutter topple over shelves and counters from the rumbling sensations of The Grand Highblood’s footsteps vibrating upon the floor and walls.

     She sighed aloud when the two left. Although her vision failed her somewhat after a small incident she and Mindfang went through during their wriggling days, she was able to hear the small scuttling sounds of Kurloz, Cronus and Eridan from the living room; along with Gamzee’s happy ‘ _honks_ ’ between mouthfuls of slime pie.

     “I swear to Gog, I should fill out a lawsuit on him and take his kids away from him…” Mumbling to herself, Redglare scooped up Gamzee, collected the remaining three wigglers, and stepped out of the ruined apartment and exited the Hive.

     Pausing, Redglare tipped her head towards the dark sky in thought. She wondered briefly where her own children were and soon dismissed The Grand Highblood’s flaws at parenting when, to put it simply, no adult Troll was made for parenthood asides the Dolorosa.

     “Come on, little ones. Let’s go see if Latula and Terezi are at Rosa’s…” With a hopeful sigh, Redglare waltzed off towards the lower neighbourhood of their Trollian society. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose you could say The Grand Highblood (or Fenrir) and Dualscar are just bad influences on society and are kinda like a pair of big babies who avoid important stuff just to have a good time. All sympathy should go out to Redglare for cleaning up Fenrir's mess every time someone makes a complaint about him or tries to sue them. Additionally, since I have not mentioned the layout of our dear Trolls' living arrangements all that much, I shall explain now. In a nutshell, Fenrir lives in an apartment Hive with Dualscar, who lives across the hall. Redglare lives in the same apartment Hive too, though she shares her apartment with Mindfang on the floor below Fenrir and Dualscar. Rosa lives on her lonesome and The Signless lives in an apartment Hive opposite Fenrir's apartment Hive, along with The Disciple. The rest shall be mentioned after their appearance; though I do intend to introduce the Signless and the Disciple next because I adore writing them.


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